Waiting for You

by Jane Toth, Bethel Christian Writers

I was waiting for you to wake up, watching you sleep. I saw your eyes open, your thoughts slowly take shape as awareness brought you fully awake. I was hoping you would say “Good morning,” but you didn’t as thoughts of your to do list crowded Me out. 

I have something for you to do today, but it isn’t on your list. There is a woman at your work I want to speak life to through you. She has been crying out to Me, and I want to use you to encourage her, to remind her of My truth. But your mind goes in many different directions as you mutter, “Better get ready. I have so much to do.” 

I had hoped to nudge you in her direction by coaxing, gentle touches, and wooing you into relationship each day. But you were off and running. What keeps you from being aware of Me? 

I breathed on you, hoping you would sense Me. Remember Me. Pause and ask what I was thinking, but your mind was fixed on getting dressed for work and the many things you wanted to get done. I hoped you would pick up My Gift of Words and refresh your mind with them. I made you, of course. And know how forgetful you are. Even in that, the design of forgetfulness was something I hoped would draw you to Me every morning. I knew the enemy would use distraction and noise to try to tear us apart, but I am not going to force you to choose to talk to Me, much less listen. I don’t want a relationship out of duty. 

You got ready, donning the clothes I provided, easily bending down with the strength I have given you to put your shoes on. Your skin glows with the best makeup Macy’s can provide, and you were ready to present yourself to the world. I was hoping you would spend time with Me, like Moses whose face glowed after being in My presence. But you didn’t have time.

I wanted to prepare your mind for the day with words fitly spoken. PERFECT for your unique situations, especially your co-worker I was hoping to speak to. My words are the plumbline of truth in a world that is constantly changing. They speak to your spirit and soul and clean out your mind of the lies the enemy has planted. 

Constant interruptions peppered your day. You tried to power through in your own strength. I placed you at this job. Gave you things to do today that would reflect Me to the world and point them My direction and draw them to Me. They were little tasks, and when you did them well, others paused and noticed and wondered. They were actually wondering about Me, not you, because excellence is in My nature. It is other worldly and brings Me glory. My name is exalted, even if you secretly pat yourself on the back and think what a great worker you are.

Sometimes your peers would praise you for your talents, but other times you did things that went unnoticed by others, in quiet obedience. I see you, your heart, your love, and the faithful stewardship of all your labors great and small. I also want you to see Me in My acts, great and small, toward you every day. I want you to praise Me for what I am working out in your life. To recognize My touch in each of your circumstances, seeing the good intended and thanking Me for it. That’s how I know you see Me.

Your strength waned towards the end of the workday. That was also by design—hoping you would ask for more strength for what you needed to fill the gap. Hoping that these touchstones of weakness, disappointment, and frustration throughout the day would lead you to Me.

Bring your worries, and your faith will grow every time I respond to your cries, your complaints, your frustrations, and your bitterness. Our conversations are not just a mental self-help trick. They are designed to teach you to trust more than you do, to build your faith muscles.

I saw your frustrations when you arrived back home carrying a load of unmet expectations. I could feel the anger rising, the lump of bitterness growing just a little bigger. I longed for you to talk with Me about it. I can help with the diseases of your mind and soul. I made a way to change that.

But you seem resigned to live with it, trying to ignore those pieces of pain, ironically expecting abundant life with unresolved sin inside you. It’s not everyone else’s sin around you that makes you miserable. I promised YOU new life, and it is yours for the taking, but it only happens when We enter into fellowship.

Most of my children do not see things the way I see them. Open your eyes to those I love (just as much as you), places on My heart, light that I want to bring into darkness in situations you are about to encounter. If you could see what I see, the timeline of eternity and your place on that timeline, your priorities would be different. If you could hear the cries in your workplace (not to mention across the world), you would join in My priorities without hesitation.

Sometimes when you come to talk, you are distracted, hoping to get this done quickly and off your to do list. How in the world did I end up on your to do list? I want a two-sided conversation, not just your-side. I want to respond to you and have you respond back to Me. Maybe even laugh about something that happened today, or share a joke. I have a great sense of humor. I know what you’re thinking and even more so, WHY you are thinking that. I get you like no one else ever will.

I want you to tell Me your dreams, even dare to speak them out loud. I can dream bigger than you ever could imagine, and I have all the resources to make your dreams come true. By the way, I have dreams for you I would like to share if you will listen.

I want more and more and MORE of you. OUR conversations are the essence of relationship, connection, knowing, intimacy. Prayer is you picking up the phone to talk with Me at the time of your choosing. 

The connection we have when we talk is what I want more than anything. I didn’t just come to save you. I came for a relationship with you. I did all of this to be known and understood. I long to go deeper. Don’t stay in the shallows.

Your co-worker called you just before bed, timing her call at the end of your strength. Despair tinged her voice. She complained about her boss, the unfairness of it all. You sighed, half listening. 

I whispered in your ear, “Really hear what she is saying. I have something to say to her, and I will give you the words.” 

You closed your eyes and began to understand what she was not saying. I gave you discernment, wisdom, and truth that hovered over your conversation. She heard My voice in the middle of the words, and her heart began to soften to Me. My heart in turn began to lean in towards you, my daughter. In that sacred moment, my delight echoed throughout Heaven. My pleasure softly rained on both of you. This is what prayer is all about, the evidence of a relationship and the fruit of intimacy.

Remember, I’m always here . . . waiting for you.