Porn, Affairs, and the Courage to Heal
There is hope and support for you at Bethel church for those battling with porn addiction or spousal betrayal. Click here to see more resources.
You're not alone - and freedom is possible
“I’ve been fighting so long,
will you set me free,
trying to climb out the dark ,
tying to change my ways,
but the past keeps calling,
pulling me to the grave”
When I heard the words of this song it flashed images in my mind of the struggle to break free from the grip of pornography and affairs. And my heart breaks over that. Those that know this struggle can probably relate to the words.
According to the recent Barna study (reporting in 2024), 75% of Christian men and 40% of Christian women report porn consumption on some level. These numbers aren’t just statistics—they’re people whom God loves deeply.
So what do we do?
1. Know you are not alone
Shame will try to convince you that no one struggles like you do—but the truth is, this fight is far more common than you think. Nearly 8 in 10 Christian men and 4 in 10 Christian women wrestle with porn, yet most struggle in silence, believing they’re the only one. The church hasn’t always been a safe place to talk about it, but that doesn’t mean you’re meant to carry this alone. Real freedom isn’t about willpower; it’s about breaking isolation. The stats speak for themselves—you’re not a rare case, but a common story waiting to be told.
2. Understand Betrayal Trauma - your healing matters too
If you’re the spouse or partner of someone struggling with porn or sex addiction, your experience of betrayal trauma is real and valid. God cares as deeply about your healing as He does about theirs. Targeted support (like therapy or betrayal trauma groups) can help you process the pain, rebuild trust in yourself, and reclaim your voice. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
3. Freedom grows in community
Isolation fuels addiction and trauma; connection dismantles them. Joining a community of people who truly understand your struggle—whether you’re the one battling porn or the partner wounded by it—is a game-changer. As Dr. Barbara Steffens notes, “This isn’t a marriage issue; it’s an issue that wounds and impacts the marriage.” Healing happens when individuals are supported, not just relationships. It takes courage to confront what’s hidden, but victory begins the moment you choose not to walk alone.
